Feedback is a gift when skillfully given. Inquiring about what’s getting in the way first and listening deeply is important! What’s this executive’s relationship with feedback. It takes courage. Then curiously exploring how the gift of feedback can be authentically and skillfully given to others will lead to breakthrough results.

I would guide this executive by first exploring the underlying reasons for their difficulty in giving constructive feedback. I would then equip them with practical tools and techniques for delivering feedback effectively, such as the SBI model (Situation, Behaviour, Impact) and the "feedback sandwich" approach. Role-playing exercises would provide a safe space to practice these techniques and receive constructive feedback themselves. Finally, I would emphasise the importance of building trust and psychological safety within the team, creating an environment where feedback is seen as a valuable tool for growth and development.

It’s not easy to change a senior executive’s approach, especially when it comes to something as nuanced as constructive feedback. I start by acknowledging their experience and the challenge they face in adapting. Then, I guide them through the process by breaking it down into manageable steps—encouraging them to start with a strengths-based approach, followed by clear examples of improvement areas. I also emphasize the importance of empathy, reminding them that feedback is about growth, not criticism. With patience and practice, I help them develop a feedback style that’s both effective and aligned with their leadership strengths. Change takes time, but small shifts can create lasting impact.

Look first at their mindset around feedback. In my experience, when people struggle to give feedback it is because they view it as criticism, they don't want to offend the team, they are afraid the team will be come defensive. If they can shift their mindset to thinking of feedback as an investment in the team -- the best way you can demonstrate that you care is to take an interest in the development of others. Feedback delivered from a mindset of criticism often comes across as a negative judgement. Instead of approaching feedback as delivering a message, think of it has having a conversation where the team talks first about what is working/not working. Listen and ask questions to help them self-identify problems.

Well before the need to provide affirming or corrective feedback it’s important to cultivate a productive working relationship. Spending time to build the relationship will pay off in dividends. When providing feedback it will be imperative to frame your intent. “I am providing this corrective feedback because I am committed to your personal growth and development, I believe we can enhance, get better, etc.” Framing is important so that we can point our eye on the future, while addressing the corrective action we will take.

When a leader fails to give their team feedback constructively I encourage them to practice the LEAD model I created. L- listen and I mean actively listen with your ears and heart. This means putting distractions physically and emotionally aside. E- empathy is critical in providing constructive feedback. Step back and think how you like to receive constructive feedback. A- always remember it is about the performance not the performer. Focus on specific behaviors not personality differences when giving the constructive feedback. D- deliver the constructive feedback with tact, diplomacy, and respect. Treat people with such respect that even when giving constructive feedback they thank you for it.